On Community by Geri Larkin

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=220 BGCOLOR="#CCCC99" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Practical Spirituality"><U>WMEades.com Home Page</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.counseling-waco.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.counseling-waco.com"><U>Counseling-Waco Home Page</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://wacopartnership.org" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://wacopartnership.org"><U>Waco Partnership for Psychological and Spiritual Care Home Page</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://practicalspirituality.wordpress.com/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://practicalspirituality.wordpress.c"><U>Practical Spirituality Blog</U></A></div> <div> _________________________</div> <div> <A HREF="aboutme.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About Me and My Work"><U>About Me and My Work</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id518.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Making an Appointment"><U>Making an Appointment</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="policies.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Policies"><U>Policies</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="cost.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cost of Counseling"><U>Cost of Counseling</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="helpfularticles.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Helpful Articles"><U>Helpful Articles</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="directions.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directions to Office"><U>Directions to Office</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="booksummaries.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Book Summaries"><U>Book Summaries</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="counseling.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pastoral Counseling"><U>Pastoral Counseling</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="premarriage.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Premarriage Counseling"><U>Premarriage Counseling</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="enneagram.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Enneagram"><U>The Enneagram</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id494.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Alcoholics Anon. Mtgs."><U>Alcoholics Anon. Mtgs.</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="faith.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="When Faith Doesnt Work"><U>When Faith Doesn't Work</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.theravive.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.theravive.com"><U><IMG SRC="83da03c0.jpg" border=0 width="160" height="60" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#EEEEEE" TEXT="#080000"> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="695" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 73 WIDTH="689"><div> <I>From </I><I><U>Stumbling Towards Enlightenment</U></I></div> <bR> <bR> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 187 WIDTH="689"><div> <I><B>Friendship is more than acquaintance and it involves more than affection. Friendship usually arises out of mutual interests and common aims, and these pursuits are strengthened by the benevolent impulses that sooner or later grow. The demands of friendship for frankness, for self-revelation, for taking criticisms as seriously as expressions of admiration or praise, for stand-by-me-loyalty, and for assistance to the point of self-sacrifice—are all potent encouragements to moral maturation and even ennoblement.                           </B></I></div> <div>         <FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >  —The Book of Virtues: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories, edited by William J. Bennett. Simon & Schuster, New York, 1993, p. 269.</FONT></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 2243 WIDTH="689"><bR> <bR> <div> Friendship writ large is community. So, it is the last day of your life. You look back. What meant the most to you? Where did you find joy? Which rocks hid from you? Who helped you? Where was your energy best spent? Please remember that life is very, very short and every moment is the most precious moment you have. Keep your strides strong and your focus sharp.</div> <bR> <div> In the dead of winter in 1971, Pan American Flight 12 took off from Washington, D.C.’s Dulles Airport bound for London. It was filled with people from Britain, Germany, America, India, and the Middle East. Among them was a young American copywriter/songwriter who was headed for Europe to do some commercials for Coca Cola.</div> <bR> <div> The plane never landed in London. The fog was so thick that the plane finally had to land late in the afternoon in Shannon, Ireland. As the two hundred passengers got off the plane they discovered that there was only one small motel nearby, so they had to share rooms. At first, there was considerable resistance. Several refused, choosing to spend the night sleeping upright in the motel’s lobby. The others paired them-selves off as best they could by nationality and sex. Nobody knew how long they would be there. The songwriter missed his meeting.</div> <bR> <div> The next day the passengers were asked to remain in the airport incase the weather cleared enough to take off for London. By midmorning the group, strangers twenty-four hours earlier, had formed small groups in the airport’s small coffee shop. The common language was English. The common drink, Coca Cola. People from many different countries and cultures were sharing drinks and stories and forming community, keeping each other company. “He was watching a composite of the whole world reforming around him in new groups, based not so much on national boundaries or common business interests as on a desire to keep company with someone else.” And one of the most famous jingles of all time started to take form. The young man wrote on a paper nap-kin, “I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.” (Bill Backer, The Care and Feeding of Ideas, Times Books, New York and Toronto, 1993, pp. 6-8)</div> <bR> <div> We are all thirsty for community. All of us. A supportive community, a sangha, can support us when we falter and remind us of our quest for spiritual knowledge. And we can return the favor. Like a bro-ken record, Buddha reminded his disciples to trust him, the teachings, and each other; to trust community.  Like little tigers, we are each hungry for community, for belonging. We want to be a member of a group of people with shared values and concerns, a group of people who see it as part of their life purpose to help each other however they can. This yearning shows itself in infinite ways. Several months ago I discovered it at a McDonalds in Midland, Michigan at seven AM on a Saturday, morning when I suddenly found myself surrounded by eight elderly men who had been meeting there every Saturday morning for quite some time. Since I had unknowingly plunked myself down in the middle of the group I became an honorary member. We talked about weather, football, their wives (several were dead), and how times change. The next day, I enjoyed similar conversations at a church. The day after that a corporation’s annual luncheon hosted the same themes. Friends who participated in the Million Man March in 1 996, still talk about how emotionally powerful the experience of community was for them. We want community. At the same time, many of us, myself included, have forgotten in our busyness what it takes to create a community which feeds our yearning to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.</div> <bR> <div> To maintain your spiritual momentum, it is helpful to create a spiritual community around yourself which affirms your efforts. No, I don’t mean that we need to go out and create ashrams or new towns. You can start where you are, with the people you know.</div> <bR> <div> What is community really? More than simply offering a sense of belonging, a genuine community has particular characteristics. First, it is inclusive. In other words, all are welcome. All faiths, all colors, all shapes, all sizes, all sexes. No one is left out. And individuals’ differences are welcomed and even celebrated, not ignored, denied, hidden, or changed. Second, a community is realistic. Community is not nirvana: In fact, part of being a member of a community is being willing to face problems with all the players around the table. People listen, really listen to each other. No one is rejected. Conflict doesn’t have to be resolved with physical or emotional bloodshed. Instead it is resolved with our emerging wisdom and grace and a view to the greater good. Third, a community cares for its members. We take care of each other knowing that each and every one of us is as precious as a drop of water to a thirsty camel. How can we do less?</div> <bR> <div> Real communities examine themselves regularly for evidence of anger, greed, or delusion. This self-examination, in its truest sense, builds community. Because the greed, anger, and delusion can be stemmed and, over time, be reconfigured as compassion, loving kindness, equanimity, joy—but you already knew that.</div> <bR> <div> A healthy community is a safe community. These days, in spite of the press touting lowered crime rates, it is rare to feel safe, particularly for women and children. We need to give a feeling of safety back to each other, and to protect each other, to step in, especially when we think someone might be physically threatened. In such a community we take responsibility for ourselves, and our own behavior. Each of us has a role to play, from keeping an eye on the children in the neighborhood, to volunteering, to leading a support group. We forget about the capacity of each of us to do good work. Community provides us with an out-let for just that.</div> <bR> <div> And celebration matters. In a real community we work, and we play. We care for each other and the earth, and we celebrate. We laugh. We sing. We cry. We feel all of our emotions. We are eager participants in life and in sharing our life with the other members of the community.</div> <bR> <div> In so many ways, a community that works is an ongoing witness to our spiritual “progress,” our intelligence, our courage, our persistence. Community makes it possible for its members to slowly but surely develop a capacity to confirm and appreciate one another, as brothers and sisters. Without this capacity, our suffering will only worsen and more and more members of our larger community will be lost. Already forty thousand children die of hunger each day. How can we live with this truth? Without community, more and more of us could isolate our-selves to “save our own.” Families lose when this happens. So will children. So will we all.</div> <bR> <div> And the size of this community? The world of course. This is a community of all of us, for all of us. All faiths, all colors, all shapes, all sizes, all sexes. No one is left out. We need to take care of each other knowing that each and every one of us is as precious as a drop of water to a thirsty camel. How can we do less?</div> <bR> <div> Every act, however small, will have an impact. Of this there is no doubt. And in the doing, a community will form of fellow stumblers with opening hearts, sparkling eyes, and if you’re really lucky, wild life-giving humor. Who will be your allies? Spiritual teachers have told us and Buddha was downright blunt:</div> <bR> <div> “It should be known that there are four kinds of good-hearted friends who are worthy to be associated with. They are the following, namely:</div> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Wing0a73007700f000000000.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The good-hearted one who will render you help.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Wing0a73007700f000000000.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The good-hearted one who will participate in your wealth and woe with the same feelings as his own.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Wing0a73007700f000000000.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The good-hearted one who will cause the advancement of your prosperity.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Wing0a73007700f000000000.png" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">The good-hearted one who will ever have compassion towards you.</div> <bR> <div> These are the people who will look out for you, console you, give you more than you ask for. They will keep your secrets and will not desert you in times of need. They will help you keep the precepts, your word, and your head when those old foes anger, greed, and delusion decide to check out your neighborhood. They are earth angels and fortunately, they are all around us.</div> <bR> <div> So get out there and build community. To start, be kind—always be kind. Watch for ways to be helpful. Participate in spiritual activities. Listen. Meditate. Pray. Protect children whenever and however you can. Honor the elderly; their wisdom can be deep and their guidance help-ful. And slow down. Slow down. Building community is no more than these things at its core. Not massive projects. No federal grants. Ordinary actions from ordinary people—this, then, is our mandate, our life’s work. To grow ourselves spiritually until we know, in our bones, that the whole world really is our home. It’s time to take care of it, time to make it safe, time to make it whole, time to sing in perfect harmony.</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 33 WIDTH="689"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="33" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="689" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>