Chores are a common frustration among parents. Parents want to know how to encourage kids to take responsibility for chores in a peaceful and effective way. Often parents resort to simply paying the kids to do their jobs around the house. There is another way. The following plan is designed to place the responsibility for chores on the shoulders of the child. Furthermore, and more importantly, this plan places the consequences for choosing not to do chores on the shoulders of the child as well.

This plan will be most effective with children who are at least 8 or 9 years old. Younger children cannot usually grasp the way the plan works.

1. A child should receive an allowance simple because he or she is a member of the family. An allowance should not have to be earned.

2. A child should do chores simple because he or she is a member of the family. Chores are not something for which a child should be paid.

Figure out how much money you spend on your kids each month. List all the things you typically pay for: movies, clothes, cokes, school lunch, church and school activities, CDs and tapes, their gifts to others, church offerings and charity, etc.. Try to recall everything.

Decide what your child can reasonably take responsibility for. Don't underestimate your child! By the time a child is 12 or 13 she or he should probably be handling everything, including the purchase of her or his own clothes and expenses related to hobbies and interests.

Come up with a monthly $$$ average based on the expenses you are going to turn over to them. This monthly amount becomes a key figure.

Figure out what chores for which your child is responsible. Talk to your child to make sure everyone understands what is expected. Also, decide precisely when these chores are to be performed and at what time they are considered "past due."

Note: Be careful about assigning chores that have little real meaning beyond your personal preference or comfort. For example, taking out the garbage is necessary for the health and comfort of the whole family. Keeping one's room neat usually is not (unless the kid often leaves pepperoni pizzas laying around...).

Now comes the hard part. Let your kids have their money--one week at a time. For the sake of example, pretend that it is March 14 when you sit down with your family to explain all of this. Also, pretend the monthly amount is $80 for one child and $50 or the other.

For each child, post a sheet of paper on the refrigerator. At the top write "April " and then the amount of allowance they are each due for the month.

Explain that on beginning on April 1 their monthly allowance will be divided by 4 and they will receive that amount every Sunday evening. Make sure they understand that they will become responsible for all their spending and saving.

When the children have picked their tongues up off the floor and put their eyes back in their sockets, say something like this,

"We've decided we love you too much to fight with you over something as silly as chores. Therefore, you no longer have to do them. You only have to take responsibility for making sure they are done. If you want, you can contract them out and pay someone else to do them for you. In fact, we'll help you out even further. If your chores aren't done by the time specified we will simply assume that you would like to provide us with a new source of income and so we will do your chores for you. By the way, our fee is $50/hour."

Sometime over the next week your child will "forget" to take out the trash. Don't remind them (oh, maybe one reminder right at the beginning of the plan...) since remembering to be responsible is every bit as important as actually being responsible. When the child doesn't follow through, you simply take and the trash. Then make a notation on the April sheet for that child: -$5: Paid mom to take out the trash.

At the end of the month, you subtract the "sub-contracting fees" from the allowance and divide by 4. This amount becomes the weekly allowance for April. A new sheet goes up on the refrigerator for May.