Do you know what it’s like to be depressed? Most people do, although the depths of depression can vary greatly. Almost everyone gets the "blues," which is experienced as a mild drop in motivation accompanied by feelings of sadness and/or anxiety, as well as a drop in energy. Some people, however, experience "major depression" in which a dark cloud descends over life. Major depression can leave a person feeling unable to function, completely hopeless and even suicidal.

Fortunately, doctors have developed a number of effective medications for depression. These medications have fewer side-effects than ever before, and are helpful to most people regardless of the depth of depression. Psychiatrists are skilled at determining which medication and at what dosage can bring some relief.

However, medication is not the only hope for persons who grapple with depression. Counseling is also effective. And one particular kind of counseling, known generally as cognitive therapy, is particularly important in helping people overcome depression.

“Cognition” is another word for “thought.” Cognitive therapy helps a person examine the way he or she thinks, and how these thoughts can influence his or her mood. Many therapists and researchers have contributed ideas to this form of counseling. I will present a few of these ideas here.

Researchers who study depression have found that when a person thinks he is trapped in a difficult or impossible situation, three things happen:

The key word here is "think." It doesn't matter as much whether a person really is trapped or not. If she thinks she is trapped she will usually act trapped. And the longer she believes she is trapped, the harder it will be for her to think differently about her circumstances.

If by simply thinking he is trapped a person can become depressed, then it makes sense that by thinking he is not trapped, a person can move out of depression.

If this sounds a little too simplistic or a little too good to be true, then I would remind you of Victor Frankl. Frankl was a prisoner of the Nazis during the Holocaust. As he observed himself and those around him during this horrendous experience, he came to an important conclusion. Those who felt completely trapped and thought they had no reason to live did not survive. Those who recognized that their thoughts and spirits were not trapped and believed they had a reason to live did survive. Both groups of persons were in exactly the same circumstances. Frankl concluded that what they thought about their circumstances was the key. Research on depression has supported this conclusion.

Studies have described three ways of thinking about circumstances that can effect how depressed or helpless a person feels. Each of these three ways of thinking involves the way a person makes sense of a situation and then determines her or his options. These three ways are:

Internal thinkers tend to assume that when something bad or painful happens to them it is because of who they are. External thinkers tend to assume the situation is to blame. Internal thinkers often respond to problems with thoughts like, “How could I have been so stupid?” External thinkers are more likely to think, “How could I have been so unlucky?”

As you can see, the internal thinker is going to be more pessimistic since he sees himself carrying around everything that is wrong inside of himself. The external thinker always assumes the next set of circumstances will be different, so the outcomes can be different.

Rigid thinkers tend to assume that when something bad or painful happens to them that it says something about them that can never change, something that is rigid, fixed in stone. Flexible thinkers do not make this assumption. They assume that the problem is due to a passing circumstance. When a rigid thinking person has a poor job interview and does not get the job, she will think, “I’m a stupid person with no marketable skills and no one wants me to work for them.” Under the same circumstances, the flexible thinker might think, “I didn’t get enough sleep last night, and so I didn’t put my best foot forward.”

Again, the rigid thinker is more pessimistic, since he sees his problems as due to things about himself that will not change, or at least not change without a lot of hard work. The flexible thinker rarely sees problems as due to some basic flaw, but rather due to some passing circumstance that can be easily remedied (The flexible thinker will simply vow to get more sleep next time . . . )

Global thinkers tend to believe that when they have not lived up to their expectations in one area of life, then they are a total failure. Specific thinkers, on the other hand, find it rather easy to confine the sense of failure to the specific issue at hand. When a global thinker is turned down for a date, he is likely to think, “I can’t do anything right!” The specific thinker, under the same circumstance would think something like, “I guess I didn’t make a very good impression on her.”

People who are growing emotionally do not allow themselves the luxury of self-deceit. They look at themselves honestly. They admit to their faults and they enjoy their strengths and successes. Four particular ways of being honest are . . .

Not believing the depressive attributions. Genuine self-honesty simply does not accept the three key beliefs of depression at face value. No person is that defective!

Recognizing and admitting to faults and failures. An honest assessment of problems, with a determination to change is very important. You probably are contributing to your difficulties unnecessarily in at least some ways.

Recognizing and celebrating strengths and successes. Self-honesty requires accepting what is positive about you as well as accepting faults and failures. Assuming that you have no redeeming qualities or possibilities can be a veiled way of saying, “I just don’t feel like taking responsibility for myself.”

Examining spiritual beliefs and commitments. Most people confess spiritual beliefs that speak of God’s love and care in times of trouble. The pain of depression can be intensified if we think it is a sign of our lack of faith. The literature of faith is full of “dark night of the soul” accounts, however, which tell of how these hard times can lead to new depths of spiritual awareness and faith.

I am convinced that where you want to go is much more important than where you’ve been. The past does not have the power to force you to have pain. However, your experiences in the past may have falsely convinced you of some things about yourself that give you trouble today. For instance, if your parents did not pay much attention to you while you were growing up, then you may believe today that you are not worthy of attention from someone you care about.

Some people find it very helpful to look back at key life events, and discuss them with a trustworthy person. A fresh look at painful memories can often allow a person to let go of depressive thoughts.

Let me repeat myself: I am convinced that where you want to go is much more important than where you’ve been. Many people find it quite helpful to imagine a future in which they feel happy and fulfilled. What would be happening in such a future? What would a typical day look like? What would you be doing?

How will you be different in this new future? What commitments will you be honoring? What will you be doing first thing in the morning? What activities will be getting your best energy?

What have you learned about the way you make attributions (see above)? Do you tend to be “internal” or “external?” Do you lean toward “rigid” or “flexible?” Do you go “global,” or stay “specific?”

Never have our lives been more stressful and complicated. All of the time saving advances that we’ve experienced during our lifetime that were supposed to allow us more leisure have only resulted in higher expectations. We put more pressure on ourselves because we think we should be able to accomplish more. It’s no wonder that depression is an epidemic in our culture.