How to Buy a Christmas Present

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=250 BGCOLOR="#BBBBBB" TEXT="#080000"> <div> newsletter sign-up:  <A HREF="newsletter_sign_up.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Newsletter sign up"><U>click here</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="mailto:wmeades@gmail.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="mailto:wmeades@gmail.com"><U>EMAIL WES</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="https://practicalspirituality.wordpress.com/" TARGET="_top" TITLE="https://practicalspirituality.wordpress."><U>Wes's Practical Spirituality Blog</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.twitter.com/WMEades" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.twitter.com/WMEades"><U>Follow Wes on Twitter</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wesley-M-Eades-PhD/300696692112?ref=ts" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wesley-M-E"><U>Wes's FaceBook Page</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Practical Spirituality"><U>WMEades.com Home Page</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.counseling-waco.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.counseling-waco.com"><U>Counseling-Waco Home Page</U></A></div> <div> ___________________________</div> <div> <A HREF="aboutme.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Wes Eades, PhD"><U>Wes Eades, PhD</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="paige.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Paige Cunningham, LCSW"><U>Paige Cunningham, LCSW</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="eric.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Eric Meyer, PhD"><U>Eric Meyer, PhD</U></A></div> <div> ___________________________</div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id518.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Making an Appointment"><U>Making an Appointment</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="policies.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Policies"><U>Policies</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="cost.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Cost of Counseling"><U>Cost of Counseling</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="helpfularticles.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Helpful Articles"><U>Helpful Articles</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="directions.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Directions to Office"><U>Directions to Office</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="booksummaries.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Book Summaries"><U>Book Summaries</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="counseling.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Pastoral Counseling"><U>Pastoral Counseling</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="premarriage.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Premarriage Counseling"><U>Premarriage Counseling</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="enneagram.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Enneagram"><U>The Enneagram</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="faith.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="When Faith Doesnt Work"><U>When Faith Doesn't Work</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.centexintergroup.org/schedule/schedule_local.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.centexintergroup.org/schedule"><U>Alcoholics Anonymous Mtgs</U></A></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="http://www.theravive.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.theravive.com"><U><IMG SRC="83da03c0.jpg" border=0 width="160" height="60" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></A></div> <bR> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#DDDDDD" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Wes Eades</I></div> <div> <I> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="15" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="721" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 249 WIDTH="345"><div> Gift-giving is serious business.  Talk about stress!  I’ve considered starting a support group just to help folks deal with “gift anxiety” (“Its awful doctor... I’m standing at the counter trying to decide... the green one?... the blue one?... no, the green one... NO, the blue one!...)  And by the time this column runs, the pressure will be on!  Sure, some of you annoying and obsessive folks will have been done with your holiday shopping since last August.  But those of us who <U>really</U> understand the spirit of the season, have held off buying all those presents until we need large doses of medication to get through it!</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFFFF WIDTH="313"><div> <I><B>Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts.</B></I><B> </B></div> <bR> <div> (Nan Robertson, New York Times, November 28, 1957)</div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></I></div> <bR> <div> One reason choosing gifts is so hard is because choosing gifts is so complex.  We try to make statements with the gifts we choose.  We try to repair relationships with our offerings.  We try to make points or we try to attract attention. We give with expectations of getting something in return. A gift is almost never just a gift--it is often a symbol for something else.</div> <bR> <div> A case in point: Several Christmases ago my daughter was 4 years old and, I decided, old enough to begin learning how to ride a bike.  My gift to her was going to be a two-wheeler.  I went shopping .  (Does anyone know why bicycles have to be so gender-stereotyped?  There are no nice blue or purple bikes out there!  You either get homemaker Barbie pink or testosterone Ninja black.)  Now, you need to understand that I’ve always had trouble letting my eldest child be her age.  I’ve always wanted her to be a little ahead of the curve.  So, I picked out a bike that would be appropriate for, well, Shaquille O’Neill.  On Christmas morning, Abigail came down the stairs and saw that beautiful (orange) bike and shouted, “Look Daddy! Santa brought you a bike!”  You’ll be proud to know that I almost learned a lesson.</div> <bR> <div> Here are two simple ideas that can help with gift selection:</div> <bR> <div> <I>1. Give a gift that is wanted</I>.  This may sound rather obvious, but with gift-giving, as with other areas of life, we often give to others what we wish would be given to us (Do you remember when Opie gave Andy a basketball for his birthday---seems rather cute when the gift-giver is a child.).  Or, better yet, we give what we think someone ought to want, rather than what they truly want (“Oh, how nice...more underwear!”).</div> <bR> <div> <I>2. Give with no strings attached.</I>  Again, this would seem to go without saying, but I often talk to folks who are angry because a gift was given, but the response of the recipient did not live up to expectations.  Life is so much simpler if we don’t get our feelings mixed up in how much appreciation cousin Jane expresses for the electric spaghetti fork.</div> <bR> <div> Gift-giving during the holidays are important in the Christian tradition because of the association with the birth of Christ  (I must admit that I don’t know much about what the giving of gifts in Channakuh means, so perhaps someone reading this will take the time to educate me).  We Christians consider God’s “gift” of Jesus to be a risky undertaking on God’s part.  God graciously gave this gift of love with no guarantees of how it would be received.  When we give our gifts in the same spirit, then we come closer to embracing the spirit of this special time of year.  </div> <bR> <div> Now... Go fight those crowds!</div> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>